yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
