Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Someone shattered a urinal.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
