he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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