Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
