well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
