I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
