hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
