proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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