Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
