it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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