i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
