I must be too annoying 4 u.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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