If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
