i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
