Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
