i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
