i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
