Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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