i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
