We're facebook friends in real life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it's like heaven, but drunker
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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