I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
