hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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