I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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