Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize