oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
