Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
