it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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