Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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