Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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