i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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