All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
