This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
