Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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