I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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