i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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