Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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