Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
