Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
