So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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