i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
