Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
