Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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