im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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