"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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