omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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