I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
