so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
