what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
