GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're making bets on your personal life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
