i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
